The Recession is Bullhonkey Dianes Story - When I Grow Up

The Recession is Bullhonkey Dianes Story - When I Grow Up This is part of  The Recession is Bullhonkey series, where I share stories of those who have gotten hired and/or started their own businesses (or sometimes both!) since 2008.  Diane Pauley made such an impression on me when she approached me at the Reboot conference before I spoke, and aligned herself with my mission of promoting meaningful work. Im thrilled to share her story here with you! It was Thanksgiving 2012 and I found myself on my knees in a cherry bog field in a tiny Massachusetts town screaming at the sky. What led me to this very sad moment you may be asking? It was me finally coming to grips with the reality that I had been lying to myself for nearly a decade. Let’s rewind. I grew up in a very academically strict household. And having a voice, an independent one at that, was pretty hard to come by. What I knew how to do was follow the rules, get good grades and have the same opinions as the majority, the status quo if you will. I had no identity. So in fifth grade, I remember making a pivotal choice, that would define me for about the next decade. We had a project where we had to pick our favorite hero, research them and make a creative timeline about their lives. As the due date was fast approaching I was so excited to hand in my Britney Spears’ timeline. Up until that point I wanted to be a singer (actress?) just like her. And then the project was due. As I saw all of my classmates’ projects on Walt Disney, Martin Luther King Jr., George Washington…I panicked. I remember ripping up my timeline, saying that I forgot my project, and going home that night to redo not just my project, but my life path. The next day I handed in Albert Einstein’s timeline. It went on like that through college. I decided in 2008 that I would pick a smart major my freshman year and I was like, why not, let’s double it up. I went in as a political science and history double major. The plan was to go to law school, to have a guaranteed well-paying job, when you graduated. Well, that wasn’t really the case with the current state of the economy I found out. Everyone was telling me to put off my plans to go to law school. You don’t tell a type-A person to put off her plans; you just don’t. The talk was that there were apparently too many wannabe lawyers out there and not enough j-o-b-s. And then there was my chemistry professor. Everyday after class, he’d stop me and say in varying versions, “Diane, you’re so great at chemistry. Please change your major. You’re not going to get a job in law. Please. I’m concerned about your future.” Thanks professor. By the way, I hate chemistry. I hate science. And math. This I knew at least. Fast-forward to my 2011 graduation. I had made a smart move here and decided to work in the real world before I chained myself to any form of higher ed just yet. I secured myself a full-time gig with the local law firm I’d been working at over the summer. This was going to be great. And then, during Thanksgiving 2012, I found myself on my knees in a cherry bog field in a tiny Massachusetts town screaming at the sky. Yes, it had led me to a moment of complete and utter despair. It didn’t take me very long to come to terms with the fact that law was not for me. I remember standing outside one the pregnant attorney’s offices one day, waiting to give her files, only to hear her getting off the phone screaming, “I don’t have time to be in f*cking labor, I have a deposition to settle.” It could have been the hormones, but I think there was something deeper happening. Every single human being hated their job there. And I didn’t want to be one of them. So at the beginning of 2012, I decided to switch gears and head down the other steady road known as grad school. I got my GRE out of the way and was planning to go into public policy and save the world that way instead. Then comes my Thanksgiving meltdown. I’d always loved to write. All of my English teachers growing up told me I should be a writer. But I always thought I was one step smarter than them. I knew you couldn’t have a lucrative career in a creative profession. I was the ‘smart’ girl. So I found myself screaming at God that Thanksgiving day wondering why the hell the writer in my couldn’t write any of her entrance essays answering one simple question: why do you want to pursue public policy? It’s like those runaway bride moments. Serious cold feet. Application deadlines were a week away. I’d spent all of the time preparing, my whole life was set upon this moment, and I suddenly realized something. I didn’t want any of it. I didn’t want any part of the life I had told myself I wanted for the last decade. I wanted to go back to that little fifth grade version of myself and tell her not to rip up her awesome timeline on Britney Spears. But since I loathed science, and didn’t spend my time pondering time travel equations, that didn’t happen. So I did the next best thing. I got back home that week and let the deadlines pass. I didn’t apply anywhere. And for the first time, when I was met with staggered glances and gaped-open mouths from my friends when I told them the news, I just smiled. It was something. The type-A girl had no plan and she couldn’t be happier. I just told everyone, “I’m on a mission to find what I love to do and I’ll figure out a way to make money at it.” Which is exactly what I did. Fast-forward to present day and I’m currently an unemployable woman. Not something the typical corporate status quo would be proud of, but it suits me. Early that next year in 2013, I found life coaching, and it was everything I ever wanted. I pursued it with a fervent passion of my own accord. Not because someone was telling me to. Not because anyone else was doing it (everyone thought I was pretty crazy last year). It was because I wanted to. With each step I took towards that coaching goal, I found more of me. Maybe it’s a funny thing that I’m now in the personal development field helping others find their passion and pursue it wholeheartedly because it’s been my own journey all along. I’m teaching from a place of experience, from a place that I’ve been, and I’m learning every day. Not from a book. Not from a course. But from the unexpected, nauseating-at-times entrepreneurial journey I’ve chosen. I launched my online coaching business in July 2013, and I chose to have it be online, because I discovered that my number one non-negotiable is my time. And I want to be able to choose when I work and where I work. An online lifestyle provides that for me. And with the added cajones I started to develop along the way, it made sense for me to keep walking my talk. If my time was my number one non-negotiable, why was I still working for someone else? I put in my 2-weeks notice in January of this past year and haven’t looked back since. That moment in the cherry bog field in 2012 was my breaking point. But a huge eye-opener for me. So I’m beyond super grateful to be able to say that this Thanksgiving I will be in a chair, with those I love, eating a good meal and appreciative of the life I’ve finally chosen for me. Diane Pauley is a renegade business coach teaching others how to boldly accept themselves and brand their authenticity online. She quit her corporate gig this year to walk her talk and show others how to do the same. These days, she spends her time helping budding entrepreneurs discover their why and starving artists find their how. Shes also on a mission to help a few awesome individuals next year make the leap from cubicle seclusion to full-time entrepreneurship in six months, just like she did. For more info on this and her renegade musings be sure to check out her home on the interwebs over at postgradolescence.com.